Wedding woes

Roleplaying quote of the week...

"I always thought Beezelbub was a bit of a naff name..."

Anyway, life has been continuing much as it always has. We went to
lunch, dinner and a movie with Mandy over the weekend which was
awesome. It's always fun spending time with someone who 'gets me'. We
went to see Tristan and Isolde, which was pretty good.

I lost 500g last week, go me. Current Weight 85.5kg. A.K.A. Fat Blob.

Today I went to coffee with one of my bestest friends in the whole
world, Wendy. She is exactly (to the day) 40 years older than me, so I
never would have expected when we met when that we'd be great friends.
She is the sharpest, most together woman I've ever met and is the
first person to tell me "Rubbish! What do you need to get married
for?" and the like, which is very refreshing given all the "So, are
you engaged yet?" questions I field every week.

Speaking of which...

My mum has been getting quite anxious for grandkids lately. She's
started collecting up my old storybooks 'for her grandkids' etc. I'm
not sure how to tell her that I dread a wedding in the same way cats
dread baths. In fact a hate pretty much everything about weddings:

I hate:
1. Speeches
2. Being the centre of attention
3. White dresses
4. Frills
5. Marzipan
6. Formal Rituals
7. Wedding DJs
8. Did I mention marzipan?

I also think they are a huge waste of money. I actually think the only
good reason to get married is so that the following will stop
happening:

Mrs McPerfectpants: So, no ring yet? (smug grin)

Psychomuffin: No. (embarrassed shuffle)

Mrs McPerfectpants: Prince Charming and I are celebrating our third
anniversary on Tuesday. He's taking me to Barbados. (dreamy look)

Psychomuffin: That's nice (death stare)

Mrs McPerfectpants: Don't worry I'm sure he'll ask soon. (look of
appraisal while she tries to work out what gross deformity I have that
stops men from beating each other off in an attempt to throw
themselves at my feet on bended knee)

Psychomuffin: Yes, I'm sure he will. (Grimace as picturing overweight
self stuffed in too-small, white, flouncy dress.)

Mrs McPerfectpants: Oh, and I forgot to tell you: I'm eight months
pregnant! With twins! Aren't I enormous?

Psychomuffin: (looks at Mrs McP, in svelte size 2 jeans)...Yes. Awful.
Haha. (kill me now)

Mrs McPerfectpants: Haha.